5 years later....

I will always remember where I was and how I felt. It will forever be a reminder that life is so precious and we don't need to take anything for granted. I lost a family member. A distant cousin but close enough. I know it hit my sister the hardest. She loved her Arnold. At his memorial ther were so many people that we couldn't make our way all the way into the church. At first we were stuck in the crowded vestibule and it was impossible to see above the wave of people. We continued to push forward and eventually slipped through the cracks amongst the crowd. As we walked closer and his glossy portrait came into view, an inexplicable wave of emotions rushed over me and I found myself lost in the undertow. Still, I was unable to cry. A soft sob awoke me from my trance and I felt my sister put her hands to her face behind me. My brother's rushed response to console her confirmed the worst.... she was crying. Tears I've never seen anyone cry. It wasn't like the time when i was 6 when I saw my beautiful sister's tear stained face which was eroded by the weathers of love. Oh no, this was much different. Pain, agony, longing... acknowledgement. Acknowledgement of death... of the final goodbye that creeps up so quickly that you can't even say the words. Goodbye. I love you. I miss you. I need you. Acknowledgement that all this was REAL and not just a clever special effect. Yes, people felt they had to take matters into their own hands and PUNISH America for what it stands for. America, the beautiful and they dare say that we're not. We can never forget. We should NEVER forget. Each time I write the date... I remember. Each time i see the skyline... I remember. Every fireman's friendly smile... I remember. NewYork Big Apple The city that never sleeps... I will always remember.........

Kill the Negativity

Tons of quality time with my mother this morning. That woman sure is nuts, but she's definitely the best a lil girl like me could ever ask for. So we were just talking about life and such, and here are a couple of highlights:

• Try to let go of any anger or resentment you have for someone because if you hold on to it you will only continue to hurt yourself.
• Instead of wishing the worst upon those who have hurt you, wish for the best. If they can become truly happy people, then they will have no motive or reason to hurt you anymore.
• Pain is temporary. Whatever you're going through and no matter how tough it is... it will pass.

I won't apologize for the way things went down. I refuse to regret all the shit I've been through. And I damn sure ain't sorry for finally being sublimely happy. :)

Each and every person you meet will change your life significantly. It is up to you to make sure that change is for the better. Learn from your mistakes. Nothing bad comes out of being nice and remember to thank those who have come and gone for leaving their imprint on your soul. You would not be who you are today without them.

To my nearest and dearest who keep me sane, I truly love you with everything I've got. Make no mistake about that.

Welcome back little Miss Sunshine. The world sure has missed you.

new blogger.

i've decided to start blogging again. let's see how this works out.